Brokeback Mountain

While at Philbrook Museum of Art, in front of a painting...

Me: Aw, look at that couple (Native Americans on horseback) looking into each other's eyes! How romantic!
M: Um, I think they are both guys.
Me: Oops.

Bilinguals

At a lunch with 2 Developmental Psychology (DP) professors...

DP Prof 1: Do you know what Americans call people who speak more than one language?
DP Prof 2: No idea.
DP Prof 1: A foreigner.
DP Prof 2: *chuckles*

You Smell So Good!

I've been told that I smell really nice in the most bizarre way ever. I was at the airport and waiting in line for security checks, and as usual, since I wear loose clothing and a headscarf, I get "special treatment". 

Giant African-American Lady Officer (GAALO): (while patting me all over) Mmmmmm you smell so good! What do you use? 

Me: (mind goes blank and starts mumbling 'cos it's 5 a.m.) Ermthanksithinkitisjasmine. 

GAALO: Jasmine? 

Me: (attempts to wave it off nonchalantly) Oh yeah, you can't get it over here. 

GAALO: Can I pat your head and your neck?

Me: O_O Yeah I guess.

GAALO: (nods cheerfully) Mmmmm ok you're done! Have a nice day! 

Me: Ermthanksyoutoo. (scrambles to take all of my stuff and get out of there as quickly as possible)

She's a really nice lady. Please don't tell her that I didn't have time to shower before rushing to the airport.